The Year of the Rabbit begins on 3rd of February, 2011. This year is generally considered as an unfavourable year since 2011 will usher in the Wood Rabbit in a Metal Year. Since the metal element generally works against the wood element, men are advised not to have their kukuchio pierced this year as they can expect at least some uncertainties and continued troubles carried over from the roller-coaster Tiger Year. Specifically however, each of the signs have different opportunities and threats to look out for in 2011.
Ox (oxes? oxen? oxees?) should spend less time... copulating this year. This year is filled with inauspicious signs for the ox's sexual life, filled with accidents such as more broken beds... or worse. Humility and discretion is highly advised to the ox, especially in keeping details of your sexual experiences to yourself. You have been warned.
Rabbits should consider giving ang pows to their younger friends in order to increase their karma. Be as generous as possible.
Dragons should pamper monkeys at every available opportunity as the stars of the dragons and the monkey are in alignment. Dragons can expect to be moving around a lot, but need to take additional care to be extra nice to monkeys in spite of their mobility. Dragons with monkeys for partners should consider spending additional effort to expel the vigor in the bedroom with their partners in order to increase their positive energy.
Horses this year should expect to plenty of purchasing of property and investment. We advise horses to consider buying a place to stay that is close to their friends so that they can enjoy a healthy social life which will be important to keep you fortunes in investments high this year.
Goats can expect this to be a great year for expanding their musical talents. So goats should take whatever opportunities are available to improve yourself musically. If you need to enlist the help of friends, be sure to treat them to an expensive Japanese buffet so as to keep your positive energy in check.
Monkeys should be expecting many great things this year, especially in the bedroom if your partner is a Dragon. If their partner is a rabbit, well, we needn't say much about the stamina of the rabbit. Monkeys should do their best to persuade Dragons to treat them as nice as possible in order to increase the fortunes of both. Monkeys who are recently into pumping their bodies should consider slowing down to let their fellow monkeys who are not so healthy catch up as this will increase their karma this year.
Roosters have a mixed forecast this year. In order to be hot before 30, roosters should consider treating monkeys to meals at every available opportunity. Be sure to eat only non-oily, fat free foods. Roosters with unusual tastes in clothes should consider adjusting their wardrobe this year. We fully encourage roosters who have the body for it to stay shirtless as often as possible so as to encourage other roosters to be hot before 30.
Dogs should expect to move from the position of the dog often this year. The style of the dog this year appears to involve a lot of shifting positions and locations. We advise dogs to travel lightly, so consider giving away things you do not need such as PS3s to Monkeys. Dogs should also expect to be doing a lot of instructing in pumping of bodies, and may need to manage their cheer leading teams carefully.
Giant pandas are expected to have issues with health this year, especially with their weight. Giant pandas should consider eating less bamboo shoots and expanding their diet to other types of foods. Going into a rampage and attacking hapless tourists is highly inadvisable as it can lead to ridicule, unhappy zoo keepers, or castration.