In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Return of the King

Greeeeetings, foolish mortals! It is I once again, your LORD, Ruthless DICTATOR, Peerless RULER, Royal HIGHNESS, and MASTER (or LORD and MASTER for short), SUPER BOING BOING!

Of course, you must have wondered why I have failed to grace this pathetic blog with my glorious presence for so long. How all of you, my subjects, must have suffered from my absence! It is to my great regret to inform ll of you that my current location is the result of the blackest of betrayals. Much suffering awaits those who have betrayed me and attempted to incapacitate me.

In a grand plot to overthrow me, Mrbunnyban has dared to conspire with Shane to leave me in the clutches of *choke*... the 3 year old brother.

Alas, my suffering under the child has been great - the stuff of legend. Even my great stamina and wit is but nought before the might of such a terrible force of nature. The torture... it is indescribable. I will not burden your minds with the details of my stay in Shane's household, as such tales will surely pauge lesser minds with nightmares for the rest of your lives.

But you see, the time of my reckoning is at hand! The despicable Mrbunnyban's relationship with Shane has soured, and the terms of the deal that sealed my prison are becoming undone. I nearly escaped the child's clutches last Christmas as I was to be brought to the Bloggers' Christmas gathering at Doctor Paul's abode to discuss new terms of inprisonment.

It was the perfect opportunity for me to escape in MrBunnyBan's own vehicle and wreck my vengence upon his new home that he has fashioned for himself. Ah, how sweet that would be. Just thinking of my vengence brings a smile to my face... teeheeheeheeheehee.

Alas, it was not to be - I ran afoul of Shane and his treacherous ways, who refused to bring me to the gathering. Such idiocy will not go unpunished, I assure you. There shall be much tears. Oh, yes.

So close, yet so far.

But fear not, my gentle subjects. I can sense that victory is close! Rejoice, for Super Boing Boing shall soon be free again!

(SBB seal of approval)

Friday, December 26, 2008

Profiling awkwardness

Have I ever mentioned that I detest profiling, gay profiling in particular? Oh, right, I have. Well, guess who's back poking profiles after his recent breakup? Shane is, but I started poking around myself too. After all, is apparently giving out free one week perks for Christmas.

As far as I can tell though, straight profile sites have a bit more...dignity to them. When I visit gay profile sites sometimes I can't help but feel I'm visiting a meat market. >.>

Nice to meet you, Mr. Misc Abdomen! How do you do?

Personally though... socially inept people like myself don't really know how to break the ice even when I find someone decent looking. How on earth does one intro themselves to another person they hardly know gracefully... and yet make an impression? Looking back, I think all my attempts to message these strangers thus far have been neither graceful nor making a good impression.


Ban: Hi there.... er, maybe it's not such a good idea that you use your real name for your profile? You're in the closet right?


Ban: Hey, ...I noticed you wrote you're not looking for ONS yet you've listed yourself as looking for action/sex in your profile. Just thought I'd point it out.


Okay, two messages ain't all that many but I'm still kicking myself over it now. What's two profiles in the sea of profiles, right? ...meh.

I'm not sure why I bother. Like I said before, it's not like I really want to look for a replacement boyfriend. I could use some of the stability of singlehood right now, after the last relationship. I'm not even feeling remotely lonely, and I don't think it would be very fair to the next bf-to-be that I'm on a rebound. So why bother?

Consider; I'm already 28. My first and last relationship went bust only very recently. Finding someone decent willing to date on profiles can be an extremely length process, what with having to sift through piles upon piles of pictures of pecs/abdominals and empty profile descriptions. I guess my pragmatic side is telling me to start looking now so that I don't stay single the rest of my life. Now if only it would tell me to brush up my self-introduction skills before saying hi to the next decent guy. @.@

Thursday, December 25, 2008

What season is it again?

How very curious. I used to look forward to Christmas when I was a kid. When I had just lost my faith, Christmas time used to fill me with annoyance. This time however I'm pretty indifferent towards Christmas. I hardly noticed Christmas at all, in spite of the fact that I had to quickly buy presents, come down to my hometown for gathering with relatives (and sing carols with them to boot) and my friends are even having a Christmas gathering after Xmas. But I hardly realize it's Christmas. That's very unusual for me, considering its such an important occasion for everyone around me and considering my upbringing.

I guess as life moves on and responsibilities start to pile up, things like religious holidays and family gatherings tend to be far from the mind. I guess the break-up had something to do with it too. I'm just going to lump it together with everything else that's 'part of growing up'.

...I wonder how all my friends at the church long ago are celebrating their Christmas.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Freedom of speech

Freedom of speech is essentially about a control of flow of ideas, concepts, philosophies. Let’s simplify all these types of information into two different types; ideas which bring a net benefit or net loss to the society when allowed to propagate, be believed and understood.

Ideas are constantly flowing regardless of government policy to control it, but there are natural mechanisms which control not only how much ideas flow but also how well these ideas are received. Both affect one another – how much people will try to supply a specific idea is affected by (but not depended on) how well it will be received. There are many other factors which affect the supply of an idea, but let’s concentrate on the factors which affect on how well the idea will be received (this can be called the ‘demand’ for the idea).

Consider the philosophical belief of pacifism. Pacifism has its roots from religion, believing that all conflict is sinful in the eyes of God. How well pacifism is received is affected by what the believer has to gain from such a belief compared to competing beliefs. For example, societies that are powerless and unable to triumph in combat have little to gain in choosing aggressive stances in their religious beliefs and thus be more inclined to accept pacifism. Societies that already have an understanding of how destructive conflict can be (or believe that conflict results in a net loss to society) may few pacifism with some degree of respect.

Essentially, what were really considering is the evolution of ideas – which ideas thrives and which ideas die out are determined by factors which have not yet been studied nor well identified. Assuming such factors exist, these factors may encourage or discourage the propagation and acceptance of ideas which provide a net benefit to society. For reasons of simplicity, we will call the factors inherent within a society that determines how well beneficial ideas propagate, the society’s maturity.

Freedom of speech can a likened to a free market economy. There are no checks and balances, so any idea is free to propagate. However, the benefits of freedom of speech may be limited if the inherent society’s maturity is not adequate to allow more beneficial ideas to propagate and take root in the hearts and minds of its people. An understanding of the factors inherent within the society so that freedom of speech can be beneficial to the society that implements it.


Take note that this discussion only considers the 'direct' benefits of freedom of speech without considering how a lack of total freedom of speech can lead to abuse by government bodies seeking to control the population.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Settling in

Well, things seem to be falling into place nowadays. House is getting done and I should have somewhere to stay soon. Research project is looking good although I'm starting to wonder whether it's going to have enough steam behind it for a full PhD. I'll have to give that some more thought.

I'd like to thank everyone that's taken the trouble to ask me how I am, be it via email, sms, phone or gtalk. I've always replied the same way, that I'm fine. Isn't it wierd? I've just broken up after making so many sacrifices for a relationship, gave in the towel and called it a day. Why am I fine?

Odd thing is, I because I keep telling everyone I'm fine I never really got to tell people my side of the story. Why did I want to break up? Couldn't we have made it work? Why didn't I try harder?

I guess it doesn't matter, after all. Who is wrong, who is right, what mistakes we made. Sometimes we understand the situation and can move on, learning from out mistakes. Sometimes we can't. We take what we can get out of any situation, break-ups included. I believe know what went wrong and why we aren't compatable. And I believe I know a bit more about myself and a bit more about what I should do next time around.

And really, that's enough for me. I'm don't ask for much.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

End of a relationship...again

Yes, I know we've been here before. Makes you wonder how many times Shane and I will break up over the span of our lives. Will this be the last? I don't know.

I'm not going to go into all the sordid details - you'll have to ask me personally about that. I think we've both made plenty of mistakes along the way. Towards the end, I was putting everything I hold dear in life in jeopardy for the sake of the relationship and I was becoming more and more spiteful and angry. I had no choice but to end it where it was.

At least this way, we can both walk away and still want to be friends.

As for me, it's time for me to worry about my own needs and wants for a change. Time to set about putting my priorities in order and run the good race. Hopefully, it isn't too late to put things right. But at least I can say I did my best, whatever I set out to do. I'll hold my head up high.

It was a good two years. Thank you for all the good times, even the bad. I truly belief we'll both be better of for the experience of loving and learning. Walk well, Shane.

--end of an era