In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Mating of honor

So I watched "Made of Honor". Pretty cliche film about someone trying to steal his love interest from marriage to someone else, though admittedly they carried it out well. Patrick Dempsey plays the guy who sleeps around and has suddenly decided that he wants his best friend for more than just friendship after many years of . But alas, the girl has already found her man, yadda yadda.

What does the girl say though? Something like "I need someone who I can trust. Someone who will stay with me for the rest of my life." Well, obviously.

Which brings up a point. You see, current gay culture/wisdom dictates that young gay men should 'enjoy their youth' so to speak, and make relationships later. There is some very valid point here: simply, the young are too dumb/immature/whimsical/whatever to hold relationships for long. That's a pretty crude way to say it and overgeneralized, but it's true often enough that young people can't hold their relationships in spite of their efforts due to inexperience. So why bother to hook up with someone when you're almost doomed for failure? Might as well have some fun now, and when you're older and wiser you can look for a relationship. Most of the other gay guys are looking for serious relationships only then anyway.

You can probably tell that I don't quite agree with this sentiment. Now, I have nothing against having sex with other guys when you're unattached. Nobody's getting hurt as long as you're doing it safely. But the whole "don't bother hooking up when you're young" thing? That doesn't sound right to me for practical reasons. You see, one may be more matured when they're older. Maybe. But if little effort has been made to hold a lasting relationship, that person has missed on on a lot of experience and learning how to maintain one.

The young make lots more mistakes and fail more? Sure. But you learn through your mistakes. (Hopefully) Sure, go and have some fun. There's nothing wrong in that. But just remember, most gay men end up alone and lonely later. Gay men may want to start building the right skills now, doom to failure or not. Maybe then when we finally meet Mr. Right, we won't mess it up so badly.