In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas eve multipost

More late night chats with mum.

Her points:

1. Commitment shouldn't happen when one doesn't understand what commitment is and what life is. Otherwise you're bound for disaster. (The young usually understand neither)

2. Love isn't that when you wake up in the morning and you look at your partner and decide that you don't love him anymore because the feelings of romance are gone. Romance only lasts about 5 years. After the courtship period is over, there's not much more point to it.

3. Love that works best is based on faith in god. Next up is based on family and the children.
Most people are based on "Are you good for me?"

4. LDRs? Some people are together all the time and stray the moment there's opportunity. Some people are often apart, but stay faithful to the end. (Trust, loyalty and character are an issue)

5. LDRs don't work because they're based on physical intimacy.

I have some thoughts about what she said, what are yours?


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Me: (wrapping presents) Uh oh. No more wrapping paper.
Mum: Really? Don't you have those small pieces?
Me: Not big enough for my present for Big Bro.
Mum: Well, we'll just have to make do with what we have. Here, let me help you...

Me: Hmm. None of the pieces are large enough to cover the whole present. Like patchwork right?
Mum: Brown one can cover just a little more than the large sides f the box, ditto for the boxed snowmen wrapping. We'll use them to cover the largest sides like so...
Me: ...and patch the holes with the red wrapping...
Mum: Hmm, doesn't quite cover the box unless we pull really tightly...

Some massive amount of cellotaping later,



Me: Er. It's so obvious that we were scrapping the bottom.
Mum: Nonsense. It's your brother we're talking about, he won't even notice.
Me: Hmmm.

Later after presents are handed out,
Me: So Bro, what did you think of the present wrapping?
Bro: Huh? What? Er, oh! You mean mum's present? The blue one?
Mum: Hee. Told ya.
Me: Heh.
Bro: What? What? What did I miss?

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Watched peformance by the Illuminated Phoenix. A pity he had a sore throat so a bit soft, but the performance was a real crowd stopper none the less. I really enjoyed listening to the singing. Can't wait to see him in peak performance next year. Must bring the whole gang to cheer! :)

(psst, Phoenix? Your present was orignally meant to be a shared present by everyone that was to be given soon after the ex incident. But Christmas was around the corner. :p )

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Only one present left to deliver. Wait for me, dear.

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Wonderful dinner! Must remember that turkey which have been pre-injected with broth taste so heavenly compared to regular turkey. Normally turkey meat is very dry after cooking, expecially the white meat. This one was super juicy and tasty.The five of us wallopped a HUGE turkey (4kg) that would normally cause "Christmas Turkey Leftovers Syndrome". Seriously.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The boxing expedition

My brother entered a boxing match in Penang. Being the supportive brother I am, I drove up in the morning of his first match to give him support. If he did well, we would stay in Penang until the end of the tournament. His first fight was a Thai guy though - and you might know that Thai's are well known for their toughness.

The competition was pretty badly organised, and we had to wait pretty darn long for his match. Along the way. My brother wasn't too impressed - neither was I really. But he really expected more from the fighters. He thought their speed and power was severely lacking. I wasn't sure, but at the same time I wasn't that impressed.

Then I watched my brother practise throwing a few punches.

"You're seriously overestimating the speed of your own punches."

He gave excuses about that and rebutted. I didn't bother to argue.

My brother was in for quite a surprise. His match was very one-sided, and not in his favour. Heck, his lack of training and experience in boxing really showed. The skills and ability of the other fighter was also made pretty obvious, actually. My brother's loss was really quite a spectacle.

Oh well. He had fun. And we both agreed it was a very educational experience.

One thing sticks in my mind: I didn't feel very threatened watching the boxers fight. Even though I knew that I couldn't hold a candle to them in a boxing match. Even though I had just watched my stronger brother get utter humiliated in the ring. While I picked up some useful stuff by watching the matches, I don't really think one can depend on boxing alone for self defense. I could say the same for most martial arts, really.

I really didn't feel like staying in Penang after such a miserable performance. We drove home that very day.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Dude, where's my sunglasses?

Via sms:
Me: Apollo, have you left something in my car?
Apollo: Ei? Did I?
Me: Nevermind.

Later via sms,
Apollo: I rememebr now! I forgot my sunglasses.
Me: Ei, what are you talking about?
Apollo: Yah! I left my sunglasses in the back seat of your car, I forogt to bring down that day.
Me: Are you certain?
Apollo: I'm very sure! Please search your car for it, it should be in the back seat.
Me: Are you really really sure you lost your sunglasses? Shane is really enjoying wearing them now. I thought they were his Christmas gift.
Apollo: .................

Later,
Shane: (wears sunglasses) Yeah, I'm stylish!
Me: Yay. Go you.
Shane: Let's pretend I'm blind so you can lead me around the mall and embarrass you in public! Woooot!
Me: What? Why?

Some humiliation later,
Shane: Time to go home now! Baibai!
Me: Baibai!

Later,
Me: ...I forgot to take the sunglasses didn't I?

Via sms,
Shane: Er, I left them with Paul.
Me: You left them with who???
Apollo: BUNNY!!!!!!! Where are my sunglasses?
Paul: Yeah, I'm stylish! And incredibly hard to reach these days.
Me: Oh, shit...
Apollo: BUNNY!!!!

----
After some driving around, the sunglasses are returned.

Me: Acks.... Now I'm in Melaka but holding on to Apollo's present for Defiant. ^.^;;

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Quiet

I've noticed that sometimes I'm able to communicate better over the online chat. Reason is pretty simple - I have more time to think about what I want to say. In a real conversation, my is vocabulary is far more limited unless I rehearse beforehand. You'll likely be surprised how much rehearsing I do.

Why are some people quiet, and some really chatty? It's at least partly to do with how fast we take to talk. Interestingly, most pairings I see of couples has one who is chatty and one who is quiet. I and Shane are no different.

We, the quiet ones, can't keep up sometimes, so we stay quiet. It isn't that we have nothing to say - just that we take longer to say it but the moment to speak has already passed. So our lover needs to slow down for us to give us a chance to know say what we're thinking at our own pace.

I'm glad for those opportunities, especially this early in the relationship. Hey, there may be hope for us yet. Let's try to forget what the naysayers have to say, eh? :)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Confidence, Pretty fly

I'm trying to forget some of the things my mum said so I don't stay angry, but I'll just mention some in passing.

Apparently, she's been thinking that me and my friends have been hanging out to have flings with each other. And she talked about how unsafe it was to have so many partners.

Me: But I said all of us have monotomous long-term relationships as our goal!
Mum: Long term is relative mah. Can be anywhere from 3 months to a year.

She described my gay friends as "predatory" and was under the impression I was going to "parties" everyday. (Yeah, parties called KLCC, Mid Valley and the curve.)

("Forever? When you're bored of your current lay, just change to something new.")

I pointed at the mark on my neck.
Me: This, is someone special. We intend to stay together until the day we die.

Mum: (looks straight in the eye) Good luck.

I really doubt it, son.


Thanks for the vote of confidence, mum.

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Have I ever mentioned that our song is done by Justin Timberlake? OUR song? By Justin Timberlake?

Its a good song mind you, and I'm more than willing to hum it along with my dear. But sometimes, I just can't help but cringe when I think of the guy singing it. You know, that guy who's trying ever so hard to prove that he's a lean and mean womanising motherfucker that hangs out with the real men ? (in spite of the girly voice worthy of a boyband)

Exposing Janet's tits in public, really questionable album name, songs that features lotsa voices of black male singers (cos everyone knows black dudes are the epitome of machoness)...

Please. Eminem can do so much better with minimal effort. Does Justin write his own songs?

Justin Timberlake gives me the impression of a Vanilla Ice wanabe who should have starred in Offspring's music video.


"And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy!"

(sorry dear, I couldn't resist. :P )

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I'm in love with a shark. A SHARK!

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Hee hee. Soon, the "Fabulous Guys' Nights Out" will be a reality!

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Recent sms conversation.

Me: So, what do you think? We share this present for XXXXXX?
Alex: So be it. I'm in.

So be it??? Oh my Zeus, I do believe we have a Shakespearean theatre reject in our midst!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Tell me about yourself...ok, enough!

Had a 3 hour long talk with my mum, phew!

I think I understand now why my mum doesn't read my blog. She could if she wanted - she can get the address from my brother. Even my brother doesn't read my blog all that often. Hardly ever, in fact. I attributed this to boredom, but I'm starting to believe there are other reasons. My mum on the other hand, is VERY VERY 'KEPO'. So it's kind of inconsistent for her not to religiously practise her right to sift through her son's private belongings.

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KEPO- nosy, minds other people's business
----

Take my inspiration to show of my blogger friends to my mum for example. I sprung this surprise on my mum after lunch without telling her - because if I did tell her, she would have forbidden them entering the house. It stressed her out a great deal (I knew it would), but she played the part of the polite host (also as I knew she would). I was hoping she'd get less stressed as she got to know them; not sure if that turned out as planned.

Fortunately, she was very impressed with them. She implied that much. And yes, she was happy that I did show them to her so I could put her heart at ease a little. (Great work guys! You're officially allowed to make toilet stops at my house if we're close by. Er, something like that.)

The giant 'koyok' patch on my neck though did *not* put her at ease. No, she's not buying that I've got a stiff neck and the 'koyok' is to help it recover. Nice try guys, thanks for the effort. In fact, she doesn't want to know the details and asked that I don't go back to my hometown this weekend wearing that.

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'koyok' patch - Plaster with chems that supposedly helps muscle relax. Good for covering up things under the skin that you don't want people to see. Sorta.
-----

She spent quite a bit of time stressing that she didn't want to know details about my private life - especially things that she's not prepared to have to deal with just yet. Don't overburden her with more than she can handle. I apologised about the springing of the surprise (which we agreed was beneficial in the end), but it became clear that she was actually talking about what was hidden under the 'koyok' patch. She would rather I left it there.

More than she can handle. Overburdening. Stressful. No wonder she doesn't read my blog.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Selekeh personified

(AKA a leopard doesn't change it's spots so easily...)

My mum has many nicknames for me. One of which is my current blog profile name, another which is 'The Epitome of Selekeh-ness' and 'Selekeh-ness Personfied'. I've never really found much reason to bother to pay enough attention to appearance, so my fashion sense among other things is a little rusty.

Me: (dressed in button-up shirt) Bye Mum, see you later!
Mum: (nods, finishes phone call)
Me: (to self: "3...2...1...")
Mum: Hey, why dress so cantik today?
Me: (pretends not to hear trivial question and runs out quickly)

My brother reads my blog on occasion, so he already knows about Shane (he complained about the Skanky Duo desecrating the bathroom, how fair is that?). Mum doesn't know. But it's only a matter of time before she does.

1. Out all day with friends for the past few days
2. Taking the trouble to dress nicely
3. Always on chat and messaging like mad

I can hear the gears turning...

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Shane: ...Ban? That shirt doesn't go with sneakers.
Ban: No? I don't have my own black shoes - only hand-me-downs.
Shane: We've got to get you some then. Your shoes are so wrong... tuck out your shirt.
Ban: (does so)
Shane: Roll up your sleeves.
Ban: (does so)
Shane: Oh, my dear. Why didn't you wear your usual clothes?
Ban: I'm trying to look good for you.
Shane: I'm impressed enough already, you don't have to impress me further (Showing off your bad fashion sense doesn't help that...)
Ban: ...
Shane: We've got to get you a new shirt.

Whatever happened to the fabled gay man's uncanny dress sense? I need it so badly nowww!!!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

How to kill the mood

AKA Friends can really be too helpful sometimes...

Ban: (Love! Bliss! Happiness!)
Shane: (Love! Bliss! Happiness!)
McD: This Bunny Ban ah... thinking such skanky things. Buy massage oil...hehe, even I and my baby don't use that.
Perry: Hee hee. Later, one of you will be walking like a duck.
Calvin: (silent glare) I'm watching you two. No orgies tonight.
Defiant: I bought an extra cucumber for both of you to experiment with. Hehehe.
Calvin: (silently watching Ban and Shane's every move)
McD: I helped Bunny choose the condoms, kakaka. I think it's a good brand.
Perry: Then we'll have skewered rabbit! Bwahahahaha...
Defiant: Tsk tsk. Remember dears, two layers don't work.
Perry: Massage oil melts condoms! Use water-based lube only!
McD: Dun worry, bought lube already liao. Hehehehe.
Shane: ...
Ban: ...
Shane: This is so~~~ killing the mood.
Ban: You said it.

Thank you SO much, guys.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Running around naked?

AKA What really happened in Melaka

Skanky Duo: (in shower) Ladeedaaa.... showering together is fun!
Me: (in my mum's bathroom) Those two are of to shower. Hmm, me have bath too.
Skanky Duo: (in shower) Ladeedaa.... Doing skanky things together is fun!
Me: Finished bath... Dude, where's my towel!?!?
Me: (searches cupboard) No towel!
Me: (searches suitcase) No towel!
Skanky Duo: (in shower) Ladeedaa... we love doing skanky things!
Me: (runs past shower room with Skanky couple) Don't come out guys!
Skankyman #1: We're still butt fuc...er, showering.
Me: (searches room cupboard) Shit shit shit! (no towels)
Me: Eeeks, where are the towels?!
Skankyman #2: Methinks bunny is nekid and has no towel.
Skankyman #1: Methinks you're right. Where were we? Oh ya!
Skanky Duo: Ladeedaa... We love doing skanky things in Ban's shower!


In the end, I got them from the cupboard under my mum's sink in her bathroom.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Encouragement? & Boys in Melaka

Another fruit of late night conversation with mum I failed to mention earlier,

Mum: I had a vision while I was praying for you in church.

Ban: A…vision.?

Mum: Not like schizophrenia. Just a quick image flashing across the mind.

Ban: Okay, okay. Go on.

Mum: So when I was praying for you, I had a vision of a bomb-blasted building in my mind.

Ban: A bomb-blasted building?

Mum: A bomb-blasted building. You know, like those which got hit by bombs in a war. Broken, charred walls, holes here and there, badly battered…

Ban: I think I get the idea.

Mum: So I was thinking, that wasn’t very good if my boy was a bomb-blasted building.

Ban: I imagine.

Mum: (smiles widely) But then I thought; it’s okay! Because even if the building is blasted to bits, the foundation is still there! You can always build up again from scratch!

(insert chirping cicadas here)

Ban: (trying to smile) That’s…nice dear.


Gee, thanks for encouragement mum.

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So, what did McD and Defiant want to do in Melaka? Apart from the obvious skanky activities in my bathroom I mean.

Seeing historical sites? Visit museums? Window shopping?

Of course not, these are Malaysians we're talking about here. And when Malaysians travel, they look for FOOD.

The casualties: Chicken rice balls, XXL cendol, mee laksa, satay celup, o-chien, soya bean drinks, RM60 worth of biscuits, curry asam fish, otak-otak, sotong and prawn sambal...

I don't think I gained a single pound.

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I really want to go back up to KL to meet up. Stupid chores.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

A day in snippets

I've been busy! Hanging out with blogger friends, making new friends, running here and there and making arrangements - it's been a pretty hectic week!
Trying out a different style, let's see how it goes. Snippets, I call it.

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Mum: Ban, please phone your brother and ask him if he's coming for lunch. Kakak needs to know how many people to cook for.
Ban: Okay. (dials)
Bro: (grudgy)...huh?
Ban: Lunch at one! You coming?
Bro: ...uh?...Lunch?...What about you?
Ban: No, I don't think so. I'll be going out with friends.
Bro: ...Yeah...I'll be there.
Ban: K, see you later.
Bro: ...mm...(*click* duu duu duu)

(I phone my brother for lunch *every* day I'm in KL)

Kitchen,
Ban: Kakak! Brother is coming for lunch but I'm going out.
Kakak: Hmmm! (continues preparing meal)

Later,
Ban: (thinks) Hold on, I'm meeting those McD and Defiant at 2pm. They should have eaten by then.

Kitchen,
Ban: Kakak! Sorry, my mistake. I'm eating at home after all.
Kakak: Fuhhh... okay. (waves Ban away)

(Ban has sms exchange with McD)
McD: ...so since you haven't eaten we decided to bring you out before going karaoke. See you there!

Kitchen,
Ban: Er..Kakak? Looks like I'm going out to eat after all.
Kakak: Mrrgh! (mocks throwing kitchen towel at Ban)

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McD can really sing! Wooot.

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Charming Calvin is getting bad influence from his boyfriend. Getting skankier and meaner, tsk tsk! ;)

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Getting a little lost is actually quite fun if you're in good company. :)

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Gotta watch myself. Temptation levels rising.

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Ended the day with a chat with mum, who needed some love and attention after her son who has just come back from Oz spent the whole day running around with friends.

Some problems must be solved in big steps - these are the most daunting and the hardest. Most problems though can be solved in small steps, a little at a time but with definite signficant change for the better. This was one of the fruits of our conversation. Plan for the long term, Strapping Shane.